LESSON 11 - APOLOGY

During September I'm blogging each day about one thing I've learned from 35 years of doing ministry.  Not rocket science -- just tips that have served me well these past three decades.

Lesson #11 - Master the art of apology.

... and I really do think this one is an art.

Be big enough and Godly enough to admit when you're wrong and do everything in your power to make it right.  Often that requires a heartfelt apology.

'Be kind to one another, tender-hearted, forgiving one another, as God in Christ forgave you.'  (Ephesians 4:32)

That isn't exclusive to your family or church, sometimes that's with members of your own team.  It's a strong team that can master the art of apology among themselves.

We don't apologize nearly as often as we should.

I have been blogging for nearly a decade now.  Years ago I composed a blog post where I wrote about teams.  In it, I borrowed an illustration from a pastor who said there are times teams can be lazy.  I used that in my blog.  I didn't have my own team in mind when I posted it.  Not at all, but I felt the lesson was a valid one to share.  Some of our team regularly reads my blog and when some of them saw it, they thought I was talking about them.  I found this out a few days later just as they were headed to my home for a staff meeting.  I was alerted by one of the team members that I had hurt the team by my words.  I was horrified and ashamed.  I hadn't meant for the illustration to apply to them personally, but as I re-read it with that eye, I could see how it could be taken that way.  Our team works harder than any team I have been around.  They aren't lazy in the least.  I'm proud of how hard they all work.  I had about ten minutes to fix it.  I deleted the original post and published a new blog about how amazing our team is and how thankful I was for each of them.  When they arrived at my house and sat on the furniture to begin the meeting, I opened with the discovery of what I had done to them.  I remember apologizing to them one-by-one, working around the room looking at each in the eyes and asking for forgiveness.  It was a heart-wrenching and embarrassing time for me, but I knew I had to do it to restore and keep trust among the team.

We don't apologize nearly as often as we should.  We just let it pass and hope everyone will forget and move on without the benefit of the apology.

If the leader admits his/her mistakes, followers are far more likely to do the same.

AND ... if I had the inclination to add a number 11 1/2, it would be:  Sometimes as a leader, you have to eat some crow.

And be blessed.