Time to rant. Some of you aren't going to like this one.
Many of us tend to put professions into molds. Think about what you and your friends talk about when the word 'policeman' comes up. What about 'attorney?' 'Mechanic?' 'Over-the-Road Truck Driver?' 'Senator?' 'Used Car Salesman?' 'Taxi Driver?' 'Hairdresser?'
Come on. You know you were thinking in a few stereotypical molds when you read some of those.
Let's try one more. 'Pastor.'
What mold comes to mind? You won't hurt my feelings. I can't be offended (anymore).
Wait. You don't have to say it; I'll say it for you.
1 - Perfect
OK. Maybe that was the last thing you were thinking, but a lot of people expect this, even if they don't admit it. Pastors should be practically all-knowing - all-present - no personal schedule - love everybody - no weaknesses or character flaws - compassionate and grace-filled to a fault - unshakable integrity - faith like Noah - the kind found only in fiction and Little House on the Prairie.
2 - Medicinal
The Bible does say churches are for the sick, right? That doesn't make all pastors doctors. But folks expect you to make them better regardless of whether they take the medicine or not.
3 - Therapeutic
... only less expensive than the 'real' counselor down the street. Honestly, I've said it before but it's true. I have a basic, three-step short method for counseling:
A - What's the problem?
B - What does Jesus say to do about it?
C - Are you going to do that?
I got no plan B. Sometimes people are looking for expert advice with no ongoing obligation.
4 - Instructive
I like this one, actually. It suits me, but it's still a mold. I had a friend once say to me, after finishing a meeting: 'Do you have to teach all the time, even in meetings?' I didn't know I did that, but maybe I do.
5 - Friendly
Some think the role of pastor is to be nice to everyone - hang out at Starbucks - laugh - be social and fun 24/7. Joelene and I love going to people's homes - (I hope we continue getting invited) - but one of the frustrating elements of ministry is figuring out how to fulfill all the invitations to 'do dinner' or 'come over' or 'attend parties.' I fear I end up disappointing too many people because I wasn't a good enough friend.
6 - Handy
Pastors fix things that are broken. Anything. Everything. Problem with your student? Call the pastor. Problem with your marriage? Call the pastor. Problem with your job? Call the pastor. Problem with your sink? Call the pastor. (It's happened.) He can fix it. I admit it feels really great to be needed, but I'll be the first to say I don't know how to fix all this stuff.
7 - Magical
Like Gandalf. Pastors are people who have power to do all kinds of amazing and mysterious things. We're closer to God than you are, everybody knows that. Some believe we can exercise our spiritual power at will, snap our fingers, say a quick prayer, and voila! Boom. Done. No.
8 - Multi-Tasking
People want pastors to provide visionary leadership, effective team management, be a whiz at handling budgets, look, dress and smell nice, know about cost-saving building innovations, be an architect and contractor, speak like Billy Graham, marry, bury, counsel, coach, understand what the fourth toenail on the beast in Revelation is all about, be able to predict within 3 days when Jesus is returning, and be the poster boy of the local church's best personal evangelist - and that's just Monday. Not happening.
9 - Parental
Pastors are infused with a parental aura, especially if they are old enough to have grown children. I like that most of the time. I've grown into it. But sometimes people project their parental 'stuff' onto pastors and that can be dangerously problematic, not to mention a no-win for everybody.
May God help us be ourselves while endeavoring to be what He has called us to be.
And be blessed.
Many of us tend to put professions into molds. Think about what you and your friends talk about when the word 'policeman' comes up. What about 'attorney?' 'Mechanic?' 'Over-the-Road Truck Driver?' 'Senator?' 'Used Car Salesman?' 'Taxi Driver?' 'Hairdresser?'
Come on. You know you were thinking in a few stereotypical molds when you read some of those.
Let's try one more. 'Pastor.'
What mold comes to mind? You won't hurt my feelings. I can't be offended (anymore).
Wait. You don't have to say it; I'll say it for you.
1 - Perfect
OK. Maybe that was the last thing you were thinking, but a lot of people expect this, even if they don't admit it. Pastors should be practically all-knowing - all-present - no personal schedule - love everybody - no weaknesses or character flaws - compassionate and grace-filled to a fault - unshakable integrity - faith like Noah - the kind found only in fiction and Little House on the Prairie.
2 - Medicinal
The Bible does say churches are for the sick, right? That doesn't make all pastors doctors. But folks expect you to make them better regardless of whether they take the medicine or not.
3 - Therapeutic
... only less expensive than the 'real' counselor down the street. Honestly, I've said it before but it's true. I have a basic, three-step short method for counseling:
A - What's the problem?
B - What does Jesus say to do about it?
C - Are you going to do that?
I got no plan B. Sometimes people are looking for expert advice with no ongoing obligation.
4 - InstructiveI like this one, actually. It suits me, but it's still a mold. I had a friend once say to me, after finishing a meeting: 'Do you have to teach all the time, even in meetings?' I didn't know I did that, but maybe I do.
5 - Friendly
Some think the role of pastor is to be nice to everyone - hang out at Starbucks - laugh - be social and fun 24/7. Joelene and I love going to people's homes - (I hope we continue getting invited) - but one of the frustrating elements of ministry is figuring out how to fulfill all the invitations to 'do dinner' or 'come over' or 'attend parties.' I fear I end up disappointing too many people because I wasn't a good enough friend.
6 - Handy
Pastors fix things that are broken. Anything. Everything. Problem with your student? Call the pastor. Problem with your marriage? Call the pastor. Problem with your job? Call the pastor. Problem with your sink? Call the pastor. (It's happened.) He can fix it. I admit it feels really great to be needed, but I'll be the first to say I don't know how to fix all this stuff.
'May God help us be ourselves while endeavoring to be what He has called us to be.'
7 - Magical
Like Gandalf. Pastors are people who have power to do all kinds of amazing and mysterious things. We're closer to God than you are, everybody knows that. Some believe we can exercise our spiritual power at will, snap our fingers, say a quick prayer, and voila! Boom. Done. No.
8 - Multi-Tasking
People want pastors to provide visionary leadership, effective team management, be a whiz at handling budgets, look, dress and smell nice, know about cost-saving building innovations, be an architect and contractor, speak like Billy Graham, marry, bury, counsel, coach, understand what the fourth toenail on the beast in Revelation is all about, be able to predict within 3 days when Jesus is returning, and be the poster boy of the local church's best personal evangelist - and that's just Monday. Not happening.
9 - Parental
Pastors are infused with a parental aura, especially if they are old enough to have grown children. I like that most of the time. I've grown into it. But sometimes people project their parental 'stuff' onto pastors and that can be dangerously problematic, not to mention a no-win for everybody.
May God help us be ourselves while endeavoring to be what He has called us to be.
And be blessed.
7 comments:
I'm actually glad you wrote this. I always knew that you and Joelene as well have a lot of pressure on you. I know what assumptions and ways I have looked to you to fulfill.
I really love the fact that you are willing to be so transparent and share your struggles and flaws. So I know you aren't perfect, but I admit I still sometimes have a tendency to forget that and place too many expectations on you.
The other things that I look to you to be is friendly. We have not always seen eye-to-eye on everything and I am fine with that, because when it is over I will always be your friend. Honestly, I expect the same from you. Grace-filled.
I like that you are instructive. I have learned a lot from you over the yrs. You have wisdom and intellect and I admire that. Hand-in-hand is parental. We are the same age, but I really do look up to you. You give guidance the way I wish my own father had and I like that.
I know I have high expectations, but I am glad you wrote this and broke it all down. There are things that are impossible to live up to, but when all is said and done, I think you are an awesome person and pastor.
very insightful! our hot water heater went out before Christmas. do you think you can fix it sometime before tomorrow morning? cold showers are getting old:-(
Lol....ummmm, well...maybe not. I'm no more handy than you. :)
Lol...sorry David...I thought the response was from PK. At any rate, I couldn't fix your hot water heater either. :)
When you said 'medicinal', it reminded me of something. A while back, I came to you hoping to be healed. I came in with faith that it could very well happen. I know God can do all things.
After I saw you, my family told me, in no uncertain terms, that I must take my meds. It was too vital not to. Based on past experience I went back to my drs recommendations.
Sometimes, I wonder if my faith was not great enough or maybe this is just the it should be and I should accept it.
I know well that God can do anything and miracles occur. I didn't expect you to do it on your own, but I still think you are closer to God than I. That He will listen to your prayers more readily. I think many others think this way and that is why they come to the pastor for prayer.
The only reason we have never invited you for dinner is because we know you are very busy going to others all the time. Not pileing on is me being a good friend. Thank yous are not necessary.
Thank yous are always necessary. :)
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