COOL

I always wanted to be cool. I've noticed there are people who come by it without trying - like the guy pictured here. He's cool. He's so cool, it's part of his name ... LL COOL J.

I remember, from my earliest days, not being cool. Very tall and overly bony -- awkward looking and acting -- thick glasses with big black frames (the exact kind I have again now but this time, they're actually in style) -- huge floppy feet -- you name it.

The desire to be cool has never left me. I can sit in a staff meeting with our naturally cool pastoral team and watch them walk in with their cool stylings and then pull out their cool devices and realize I'm not that cool.

I've tried to be nerdily cool in hopes that they would have mercy on me and say: 'P.K., you're so cool.' In the end though, there's nothing more repulsive than a guy who isn't organically cool trying to act like he is.

I can't have all the 'right' music on my ipod.

I don't keep up with all the 'right' TV shows.

I haven't bought a pair of Toms.

At the heart of the 'cool' is a desire to be one of the 'in' people. It's as basic as our drive to be loved or to conquer a mountain.

I'm not saying being cool is a bad thing. I wish I was better at it. But living authentically and loving genuinely and giving passionately also ends up looking pretty cool. I'm better at those three, though I'm still working on one or two of them.

I've just decided to not make my end goal 'cool.' If I stumble on it along the way, well ... cool.

And be blessed.