HAGGLING

I was recently in Morocco and, of course, had to pick up some goods for me and my family members. I bought some teapots, jewelry, knives (for the guys), candles, cloth placemats and a leather satchel (for me).

During the process I had to haggle to get them all for a price something short of highway robbery. I've never enjoyed the haggling process and I don't think - being such a nice guy - that I'm very good at it. Be it in any foreign country or here, I just don't like it.

Fortunately about the only place in the good ol' U.S. of A. where one still has to do this - other than at garage sales - is when you buy a new or used car.

I got a different car late last year (see October 22, 2010 blog) and I'll just tell you, I wish the price on the sticker in the showroom was quite simply what you had to pay. You don't go up to the cashier at Kohl's and say, 'I'll give ya $7.95 for this turtleneck' when the tag says $24.95 - but you have to do that at the car lot and it just seems like such a waste of good deodorant.

I'd just like to dispense with all of that and walk out with something fair to all concerned - something that doesn't depreciate to the value of a can opener once I drive it off the lot.

Not to mention, so many car ads seem misleading. I've gone into dealerships that offered, for instance, $119 a month for a car that looked pretty exciting according to the picture - only to get there and realize that the $119 didn't include the 'extras' - like a back seat or a steering wheel.

So the haggling begins. And I stink at it. And if you're not careful you can walk out with a vehicle you never intended on buying but did because you felt bad for the poor salesperson - whose sixth child needed braces really badly - and you ended up with something that cost $400 a month over a period of only six years. Lucky you. Lucky like the guest list of the Hindenburg lucky.

I'm sure my picture has been posted in some dark back room of a car dealership in something they probably call the Hall of Suckers.

I'm glad we don't have to haggle with God for the gifts He wants to give us. If He promises bread, He doesn't bait-and-switch that with a stone. It's true and real.

Next time I go buy a car, I'm going to take someone with me who is a ringer for this haggling thing. If you'd like to put in for the job, let me know.

And be blessed.