I don't know if my kids still religiously read this blog. I know they did when I started it ages ago. Occasionally they mention something in it that they've read, but that doesn't mean they read it daily. I guess we'll see.
I don't know how our children feel about how strongly Joelene and I pampered them when they were small. They would probably each answer differently, according to their perspectives.
In 1975, before any of them were born, the main publishing houses of American literature put out 57 books on parenting. Thirty years later, they published 12 times that many. There are hundreds of magazine (no exaggeration) and thousands of websites giving advice on how to manage your infant, toddler, tween and teen. The baby product industry sells $7 billion annually. That's a lot of Baby Wipes.
But there is pretty strong disagreement about how we should be raising our kids today. Dr. Spock vs. Dr. Dobson. Not planning to breast feed? How selfish. Breast feed in public? How barbaric. Your child sleeps with you in bed? How co-dependent. You banished your baby to a crib? How un-enlightened.
But there seems to be ONE thing all parents agree on - most parents believe they are strict. Fifty-five percent of parents believe they are tough on their kids. Fifty-two percent believe it's better to guide a child with 'discipline and structure' rather than with 'warmth and encouragement.' What is funny is that a remarkable 91% of parents say that other parents aren't pulling their weight.
So we have a slew of parents who think they're strict, but no one else is. I wonder where you put yourself on the 'strict' slide rule. And maybe even more importantly, I wonder how our kids feel about the Taylor's 'strict quotient' as we were raising them.
Weigh in.
Whitney? Allison? Olivia? Are you out there?
And be blessed.
6 comments:
My kids are still young, but with my 2-year-old, I wouldn't say I'm "strict" at all. If anything, I'm one of those parents who tend to understand why my daughter wouldn't want to do something. I just patiently explain why she needs to. But she's a good girl, so maybe I'm not the right person to respond. It just might be too early to tell too.
Daddio,
I have to say that when I was living at home I thought you were strict on a few issues; curfew and movies are the ones that come to mind. But that was only because I was comparing it to what my friends were allowed to do. If my friends weren't going to rated R movies at age 16 then I wouldn't have been missing out on anything. If my friends had to be home at 11 p.m. on a Friday night like I did, then I wouldn't have felt like my curfew was so stinkin' early. However, that was then. This is now.
It didn't take me long after I moved out to realize how great I had it. At college I initially felt the freedom - how AMAZING to be able to go see a rated R move and not have to ask permission! Or - I can stay out as late as I want and I don't have to call home to check in? What a rush it was. But, it didn't take too many late nights, or crummy rated R movies to realize that I actually wanted to live by the "rules" you MADE us follow, only I wanted to follow them now VOLUNTARILY because I agreed with them.
College also made me see how you pampered me - with lots of love, family time, cultural experiences, and vacations. Things that not all my friends got to have. At the time, I might not have appreciated these things like I should have, but now our family has this unspoken, can't-put-your-finger-on-what-it-is, tight-knit relationship that makes it all worth it.
The rules you set for me as a child worked for me (in hindsight). They made me the most-of-the-time responsible adult I am today. AND they will hopefully get me close to being as good a parent as you are.
Love,
Whit
WHIT:
WHAT????!!!!! You went to "R" rated movies when you were in college!!????????
And you stayed out late too!!!!?????????
:)
Raising you three girls was the joy of my life. You'll get your chance to take a stab at it in a couple of months when you deliver my grandson. I'm behind ya all the way.
Love ya.
dad. you and mom were always more strict than my friends parents but for the most part i didn't mind. i can remember a few times that i was upset because i wanted to go somewhere or do something with friends and you would not let me. for the most part though, i did not even want to do the things that you would not let me do.
it's weird to say it like this but i actually agreed with your rules most of the time. when i could not go see a movie and my friends would say "wow, that is so dumb" or "your parents are so strict", i would usually back you guys up. i would say, "why would i wanna go see that movie?" or "that is such a dumb thing to do anyway".
i look back on your rules today and see that they helped make us the way we are. not just the rules but way you enforced them with both love and discipline. you guys were not just bull headed with your rules. somehow, as a kid, i could see that you were trying to protect me and i appreceiated that. i knew that that was just the way it worked when you were a kid.
i can remember one time where you would not let me go somewhere with someone alone. i never broke those rules and always had someone else around. there came a time where i was planning to go out with this person and some friends but the friends cancelled. because i had respected your rules, you let me go this one time.
i understood you, and you understood me and that really helped me see them as not just rules but as protection. you guys did a good job with us and helped us to be well rounded. love you dad.
AL:
Love you back.
These words are music to my ears.
Whitney's comment sounds like a great sermon illustration on law and grace. :) Great job, Kevin!
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