OLYMPIC FOOD

CAUTION: THIS BLOG IS RATED PG-13 - for those with delicate constitutions.

I am loving the Olympics this year. I wish I had more time to watch them, but I'm getting in as much time as I can. Michael Phelps is an amazing amphibian and I hope he manages to break Mark Spitz's record, even though there is a part of me that hopes he doesn't do it, as someone who remembers watching Mark Spitz win those medals in the 1970's -- but I think deep down, I am rooting for Phelps. Records are made to be broken.

It was awesome to see the American female gymnasts capture gold and silver in the all-around competition, especially since it's rarer for our U.S. athletes in that sport to do so well individually, what with the Eastern European and Asian athletes coming on so strong.

I'm looking forward to the track & field competitions coming up - always a highlight for me.

That said, the remainder of this blog - and the real reason I'm going this direction today - comes from the inspiration of an e-mail loaded with pictures that my wife, Joelene, sent to me. It's still loosely related to the Olympics, but I wanted to butter you up real good and get you comfortable first.

I'm a relatively adventuresome guy when it comes to food. I've tried a ton of different things that a majority of people would go "Ewww!" to. I had monkey-gland steak in Africa (yep - tastes like chicken!). I ate escargot (i.e., snails) with my wife sitting across the table from me. She refused to look at me or speak to me until I had fully digested all of them. Squid, eel, octopus, alligator, crocodile, grasshoppers, frog legs, pig snouts, you name it. I've often wondered if I'd be a decent candidate for Fear Factor or Survivor, because I'm not afraid to eat that stuff. I even tried the vomit and booger- flavored jellybeans at The Jelly Belly Factory (not joking - they're for real - and taste very much like what their namesakes say, not that I've actually tried either of the real things).

So now today, my wife sends me these pics she found of what they're offering people as fare of the day over in Beijing at the Olympics. When in Rome, right?

Truth is, we Americans are far more sheltered - we'd say civilized - than the rest of the world when it comes to food-tasting. Americans don't like to know they're eating animals.

One article I read said that in Spain there used to be a food chain called Museo de Jamón (which translates to "Museum of Ham"). Hanging from the ceiling at each franchise was a display of pig hooves. Some Spanish restaruants had a special stand for pig legs ... and when you ordered ham, the bartender would grab a giant cleaver and hack at the leg for a while and then put the little hacked-off bits on the plate. Spaniards are comfortable with the cycle of life. They understand that ham was once a pig.

In contrast, many Americans love meat, but don't want to think about how meat became meat. American restaurants rarely serve anything with the head on it, for example. A head implies that your dinner was once frolicking in a field, or swimming innocently through the sea, or trapped in a little pen being force-fed milk products for most of its young life.

We also tend to feel that living creatures are not to be eaten - that is, things that are still MOVING. Potential food that is actually still moving implies our meal would much prefer, if it had a vote, to be somewhere else. Oysters are still alive when we eat them and we eat them by the dozen - but they kindly avoid wriggling somehow and this makes all the difference.

If you're ever in Korea (I hear) ... try the sannakji. It fights back. Chefs slice off a tentacle of a small live octopus and bring it to your table. The tentacle goes down squirming, which is considered the highlight of the experience — along with the slight vacuum action of its suction cups. You be the judge.

We also think internal organs are disgusting. We would quite happily chew on calves, thighs, backs, ribs, and flanks of most things with four legs. But brains, tongue, feet, stomach, intestines, and other internal organs are all suspect. If you want to break out of this rut, try some haggis. It's a Scottish delicacy made of sheep's stomach stuffed with innards, grains, and spices. It isn't much different from your average sausage, but the fact that it's a stomach makes it nice and creepy.

Or insects. Even though people on every continent eat them. Ants - cicadas - cockroaches - scorpions - worms - etc. And the fact is, insect flesh is almost as nourishing and 'good for you' as red meat or poultry. I've had a worm. It didn't really taste like anything. The texture was sort of like shrimp with the casing on: crunch, then squish.

All of that said ... our palettes are really underdeveloped here in the States and something tells me we might realize what we're missing if we would just expand our culinary horizons a little.

So here's a sampling or what they're 'enjoying' over in China right now just outside Olympic Village ... below starting in the upper left and going clockwise, you'll be looking at Goat Lungs with Red Peppers -- assorted Scorpions and Beetles -- Dog Liver with Vegetables -- Silkworms, Black Scorpions, Dung Beetles and Cicadas.



OK. Who's hungry now?

You can't say these blogs are predictable, right?

And be blessed.