In our recent four-week "UNCENSORED" series at Journey Church, we invited folks to submit questions on marriage, sex, purity and relationships.
Below are a couple of those questions ...
Q: 'My girlfriend and I have been together for a year and six month. We've been intimate. I'd like to change that, but she doesn't. I love her with all my heart and don't want to lose her.'
Q: 'I want to know if my soul will be compromised regarding salvation if I have intercourse before marriage.'
A: Remember ... your highest priority as a Christ follower is obedience to God in all things, not obedience to man or woman.
What we DON'T say is: 'I'll go ahead and be disobedient because I know God will forgive me.'
Paul speaks to that in Romans 6 when he writes: 'Shall we continue sinning because we know grace abounds? How shall we who died to sin still live in it?' Then he answers his own question with a short sentence: 'No, we can't do that.'
It's a rhetorical question Paul asks, and rhetorical questions don't expect answers; rhetorical questions make statements.
For example, if a dad says to his son: "How are you going to keep your room neat if you throw your clothes all over the floor?" He isn't looking for an answer; he's making a statement. 'You won't have an awesome room unless you hang up your clothes.' If a mom says to her daughter, 'How can you expect people to be your friend if you aren't friendly?' She isn't looking for an answer; she's making a statement. 'You won't have any friends if you aren't friendly.'
That's what Paul is saying. He isn't expecting an answer; he's making a statement -- 'How shall we who died to sin continue on living in it?' Answer: We can't.
Our goal as followers of Christ isn't to slip in to heaven by the skin of our teeth, but to live an increasingly obedient life to Christ here - and now. Follow HIS rules and laws first; and where man's expectations conflict with God's laws, follow God. And don't enter into a lifelong covenant where you aren't in agreement over the most basic beliefs of Christianity.
When we say: 'I think I'll keep on sinning because I know God is full of grace and forgiveness,' it's a clear sign we don't understand either grace or forgiveness. When we truly grasp the deep, deep mercy and goodness of God for us - when we begin to understand the covenant He's made with us - it makes us want to sin less, not more.
Resolve your allegiance to God first. Determine to follow His way. Because once you're married, the covenant must be 'worked out' within the marriage, and that can be very hard.
I'm praying for you.
And be blessed.
2 comments:
You may also be missing the point of those commandments. While obeying God just because he IS God is good, it also ignores His goodnes, wisdom, and knowledge: He gave those commands precisely because, loving us and having made us, He knows what is good for us, and what harms us. So He commands us TO do what's good, and NOT to do what He knows is harmful to us. He does not want to see His masterpiece--us--marred, injured, and defiled. He gives us clear guidelines on how to make the best choices--then allows us to make our own, accepting or rejecting those guidelines. Rejecting them is a strong indicatulion that you may not trust either His knowledge or His love--or both--as much as you are fooling others--or fooling yourself--into thinking you do.
Thank you for your response. I'm unclear which commandments I may be missing the point of. I'm certainly not infallible. My aim is to share the Gospel as it's given in the Word. I try to let the Word interpret itself, not me or you interpret it. A lot of people interpret the Word through their own experiences, mostly bad experiences. Those kinds of experiences almost always skew our understanding of what God says because of our own hurts or disappointments, etc. For instance, I have always struggled with the commandment to "HONOR YOUR FATHER AND MOTHER" in Exodus and elsewhere. I say that because my father beat me, put me in the hospital, and nearly killed me. The thought of 'honoring' him seemed unthinkable - and yet I read it plainly and clearly in the Word, without prejudice. Whenever we read things that seem to make no sense - given our own personal experiences - we must come to some conclusion that either God's Word is right - or - WE are. Though it is challenging at times, we must come to a conclusion that there is something we don't quite understand because of what we've been through. IN those moments, we trust God, lean into HIM and to His Word and trust that He knows best. I have done that, hard as it has been, with my own father - and today I honor him in all the ways I am able to. I completely agree with you that rejection of GOD-CHOICES is an indication that we don't trust Him. The greatest defilement we can exhibit as God's masterpiece is to be in disobedience to HIM. Many blessings and prayers.
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