In my junior high experience, I sat with all the other hopelessly un-cool, over-achieving nerds. One day during class I needed to go to the bathroom. To get there I had to pass by the desk of a boy I'll just call Louis (because that was his name). Louis always sat with his legs draped way out in the aisle and he had muscles where I never imagined a 14-year old could have them. And he was mean.On my way out of the room that particular day he reluctantly tipped his desk back and let me pass but he recommended that I find a different way back when I returned.
I took super long to empty my bladder that day. As I re-entered the classroom, I had a critical decision to make. Should I go back to my desk the long way around, completely avoiding his desk or should I take the shorter but far more dangerous route past him?
In a ridiculous moment of insanity, I decided to go back the exact same way I'd left -- right past his desk. I'm pretty sure he was stunned I had the nerve to do that and as a reward, he told me I could meet him outside after school.
I ended up emptying my bladder about 17 times that day before school was over. And when I got outside, after praying he wouldn't be there, I found out I hadn't prayed hard enough because he was.
It was the only time I was in a real fight. And even though I didn't win, I didn't lose either. I was a foot taller than him, so that helped. And after a few pushes and shoves and a couple of half-landed punches, at least one lucky one by me, it was over. He gave me one last verbal warning and walked away. For whatever reason, he never really bothered me again.
'Your new heart come fully equipped with the courage of God.'
You've probably already figured this out, but I'm no natural born hero. I suppose there are some who are naturally courageous -- I'm not. I've always had a close personal friendship with fear ---- fear of not belonging, fear of being rejected, fear of failing, you name it.
And yet, God calls us to courage and promises to equip us with it. And He's worked hard to develop it in me. To be courageous is to be 'strong of heart.' In other words, fear not.
Everyone who chooses Jesus receives a heart transplant -- and the new heart comes fully equipped with the courage of God pumped into your timid soul.
To follow Jesus is to choose to live in adventure, faith and risk.
And be blessed.
2 comments:
Nice to see you back on the blog. :)
It's funny, when you speak of your fight as a young person, it reminds me a time in my youth.
When I was in 6th grade I was walking to school in the winter...snow up to my calves. There was a boy I knew from school and he threw a snowball that hit me square in the face. I told him to stop throwing them and he didn't. I was furious. I went after him and we got in a fight (yes, that was my only time.) We were in heavy coats, so neither one was hurt. I have to admit, doing the girl thing, I grabbed ahold of his hair... :/ The things you remember.
At any rate, I think you have a great deal of courage to stand before a huge church, full of people, and give a sermon. I once did a video for JC and I sweated bullets. When it came on-screen I slid far down in the pew...lol. Not something I wish to repeat.
Over the time you have had the blog, I have admired your courage when you express yourself in the blog. You have been very "real" and shared your vulnerability. Even though I have been pretty open, it takes a lot more courage than I have, since you are the pastor. I imagine there are things that are still intensely private in your world, but you have opened up a lot.
Just an observation. You most times post the meat of your sermon that week. Sometimes, I miss the more spontaneous blog posts. It's been a while, though, so I imagine it's hard to write about something different. Anyway, hope you are well!
I won't go into the fight thing although every time I did I was nervous and the tenacity that God built-in sure helped. Moving on. .. Speaking in front of people was never my forte and it took major courage to do so. That was until Christ came for a visit and decided to stay for life. I will talk to anyone that the Lord puts into my path. The fields are ripe for harvest and God needs plenty of labourers. I ask daily to be used in His service and most everywhere I go He has someone lined up for me to talk to. Not a left and a right and beat them with a bible but rather good honest conversation about their or my life at that moment in time. Always something that I can relate to God or inquire about their feelings on Jesus. World is so anxious right now and people are panicking. I can see in a man or woman's face and know they need help and truthfully I want to help. Through the power of the Hold Spirit I can speak with courage, conviction and genuine love boldly. I want to do this, I want to preach and confess Jesus as Lord. I want to point out their need for a Savior.... Only one will do and He just happens to be the Son of the Most High. This single purpose drives my life. To learn and obtain all wisdom provided by God and share, love, lead and help save the lost. Plant those seeds, water those crops and watch God make um grow. Jesus commanded, make ye disciples od all nations and He wasn't just talking to me. Harvesters needed....FOLLOW ME. To the glory of God. My name is Bill and what is your relationship with Jesus. Use me Lord for Your glory. Redeem me and I will be redeemed. Love me Lord and I will be loved. Save me Lord and I will be saved FOREVER .
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