When it comes to human relationships, we have some real mountains to scale. Mountains of misunderstanding can quickly pile up to become death zones for relationships - marriages - business partnerships - work associates - children - parents - friends - you name it.
One of the biggest mountains is the Mountain of Me First.
It's human nature to say, "I'll meet your needs if you meet mine . . . first." We don't always use the word "first" out loud, but it's loudly implied.
We start this early. If you have more than one child, you've witnessed this mountain in play when you all get in the family car.
Child #1: 'I call SHOTGUN.' (If you aren't familiar, calling 'SHOTGUN' allows you to ride in the front passenger seat, but some weird law of civil humanity.)
Child #2: 'No fair! You called SHOTGUN the last three times!'
Child #1: 'That's why it's called 'CALLING SHOTGUN!'
And so it goes.
Maybe your family has developed elaborate rules to keep the SHOTGUN peace. On even-numbered days, Child #1 gets the front passenger seat ... on odd-numbered days, Child #2 gets it. Or ... nobody is allowed to call SHOTGUN until we're completely out the door. Inside-the-house-calling of SHOTGUN is strictly prohibited. Or ... if there are more than two children, the one who called it last is exempt from the front seat the next time.
See, I've done this before.
It's natural to want to see my own needs met before I meet someone else's, and yet 'natural' creates a huge mountain to scale in order to love like Jesus - because Christ calls us to act in ways that aren't natural.
And be blessed.
One of the biggest mountains is the Mountain of Me First.
It's human nature to say, "I'll meet your needs if you meet mine . . . first." We don't always use the word "first" out loud, but it's loudly implied.
We start this early. If you have more than one child, you've witnessed this mountain in play when you all get in the family car.
Child #1: 'I call SHOTGUN.' (If you aren't familiar, calling 'SHOTGUN' allows you to ride in the front passenger seat, but some weird law of civil humanity.)
Child #2: 'No fair! You called SHOTGUN the last three times!'
Child #1: 'That's why it's called 'CALLING SHOTGUN!'
And so it goes.
'I call SHOTGUN!'
Maybe your family has developed elaborate rules to keep the SHOTGUN peace. On even-numbered days, Child #1 gets the front passenger seat ... on odd-numbered days, Child #2 gets it. Or ... nobody is allowed to call SHOTGUN until we're completely out the door. Inside-the-house-calling of SHOTGUN is strictly prohibited. Or ... if there are more than two children, the one who called it last is exempt from the front seat the next time.
See, I've done this before.
It's natural to want to see my own needs met before I meet someone else's, and yet 'natural' creates a huge mountain to scale in order to love like Jesus - because Christ calls us to act in ways that aren't natural.
And be blessed.
1 comment:
I have two kids (grown now) but when they were younger, my son always rode shotgun. He is 6'4" and he didn't fit in the backseat...lol. That solved that problem!
It seems that there are many times when two people get to know each other and feelings get hurt. Or one becomes angry when the other doesn't meet our needs or say the things we want... the way we want. We all have baggage that may cause us to become "prickly" with the other.
I am reading Love and Respect right now (the one that was recommended during the NEW series). It talks about how the other spouse is a good-willed person. It's a good thing to keep in mind. We don't set out to make the others life miserable...we just have needs that may not be met. It can be all too easy to want YOUR needs met first and THEN I will meet yours. The author says that the most MATURE person decide to make the first move. I think that perspective can help make it easy to extend the olive branch first. Good advice.
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