Sunday, December 2, 2012

OPPOSITE

I don't know if you've ever been faced with a problem - a predicament - a difficult situation - where you  are pondering what to do about it and what you are strongly considering doing is the opposite of what God has told you to do -- and you know it.

When something really important to you hangs in the balance, how easy and natural is it for you to rationalize God's view away and stick to your own view despite what you know He says?

I've said it before, but I have a 3-tack approach with most folks when they come into my office for counsel:
A)  What's the problem?
B)  What does God say about that in His Word?
C)  Are you going to do that?

We might not get thru all three steps in 75 seconds, but ultimately that's where we're going.  Honestly, I got nuttin' else.  There is no Plan B.  I'm not rude or unkind about it, but the bottom line is, you're not going to get counter-Biblical counsel from me, even where your situation is agonizing or hard or 'so-unique-nobody-else-on-the-planet-has-ever-experienced-this.'  You'll get compassion.  You'll get empathy.  You'll get a hug and a prayer.  You'll get as many helpful, thoughtful solutions as I can come up with.  But you won't get what is opposite from Scripture.  You just won't.

I don't think you would want that from your pastor, would you?  Most people would say 'no' to that, until the situation is personal - then very often they're not completely sure.

The truth is, most of us want what's best for ourselves and we usually think we know what that is - because, after all, it's our life, right?  But the truth is, if you were to always act in your own best self-interest, you would do what God tells you to do in His Manual, even when it seems the opposite from what you are inclined to do.

Every time.

And be blessed.

11 comments:

Anonymous said...

PK, the very first time I ever came and spoke with you I wanted to know if it was ok for me to remarry, as a divorced woman. We talked about it and since my ex-husband had remarried, I would not be considered an adulteress. But, honestly, plenty of divorced people in the church remarry, no matter what the bible says. I asked you why, but you had no answer. It is so commonplace these days that the church sets that to the side. This is a very thorny subject, but I wish you could explain it. Is the bible irrefutable or is it a bit up to societal norms?

PK's BLOG said...

I can't imagine I had "no answer" but I'm sure you remember it better than I. We must always follow the Word on these things. The Bible has much to say but it still has to be worked thru. For instance, where there were strong patterns of adultery, the Bible fixes an allowance for divorce. If the offending partner remarries , the Bible gives an out...and other instances like these.

Anonymous said...

I apologize, I am not trying to be argumentative. It just doesn't account for the millions of people who do remarry when adultery was not the case. Anyway, that is one reason that I think gay marriage should be legal. There seems to be a double standard. Divorced people can remarry, no matter what the bible says, but gays can never marry.

When I met with you, way back then, you said basically what you said in this post, but you agreed it was a sticky subject.

I know you don't agree but there are some ways the interpretation of the bible does change with the times. Anyway,that is my impression.

PK's BLOG said...

I don't think you're being argumentative - neither am I being.

But the Bible's position doesn't change over time -- MEN change. There isn't a double standard with God - just with men.

Gay marriage is wrong on several levels and if we ever think God would endorse that, we are not reading the same Bible. Sorry.

Anonymous said...

No, you're right. I am sure God would not approve of gay marriage. My heart just goes out to friends and family.

My basic question is why does the church marry people when there were no biblical reasons for a divorce? Is it still a sin? Would God approve of the church marrying divorced people, no matter the reason? This is the reason for my comment about a double standard.

I wasn't a Christian then, but I do know that I have regrets about our divorce. There was no adultery. He is a good man. He is the father of my chidren, so I want all good things for him. I just think we should have nurtured our relationship more. Anyway, I truly want to encourage anyone who is in that situation to make that the very last option...if one at all. It is so hard...a death of your marriage. Except for the most dire of situations, it is not worth it.

PK's BLOG said...

It's not a short answer, but i'll do my best. What happens with divorce is far more complicated than many other life situations. One partner cannot control the actions of another. So if a husband decides to walk away, fall in love elsewhere, get married to someone else, there is nothing a wife can do - whether or not there was adultery or not. She is left without a husband and without hopes that he will remarry her since he is married to someone else. That is just one scenario - there are a hundred others. I already mentioned the Biblical exceptions of abandonment and adultery. So there are several and many cases where remarrying though previously divorced is not unblblical. The bad and sad part of it is that it is a slippery slope for Christians, since there are some Biblical exceptions, they have an 'inch' but often 'take a mile.'

Unknown said...

Isn't there something about a "mulligan for marriages" somewhere in the apocrypha writings?? ;)
Anonymous, do we live under the law or grace? Check out Matthew 23:23. What's more important? The letter of the law or the spirit of it?
1 Corinthians 6:12 Paul says "Everything is permissible for me"--but not everything is beneficial." Somewhere in there lies the answer.
Also, how anyone can read into God's word that it is ok with gay marriage is beyond me.
Blessings! Don

Anonymous said...

Don, I made many mistakes in my marriage, including not trying hard enough before our divorce. My hope is that at least one other person can be avoided the pain of it.

I confess,I am certainly not the biblical scholar that you are. I just know that the majority of bible believing churches perform weddings for divorced people...no matter the circumstance. It is hypocritical in my opinion. If I were to want to remarry, I would most certainly find a bible believing church that would do it. In my personal instance it is not a sin. However, it is the case for so many Christians.

I am not saying that gay marriage is biblical...what I am saying is that remarriage is accepted...no matter what the circumstance. It is a double standard.

PK's BLOG said...

I agree with Anonymous that many churches apply an unBiblical standard on marriage and remarriage. Those LOCATIONS have applied a double standard though. That doesn't mean all of Christendom has applied one. Some churches refuse to re-marry ANY divorced person simply because they do not want to start down that 'slippery slope.' I think that is equally wrong because the Bible is clear that there are some real live exceptions to the divorce/remarriage precept. What Anonymous may not know - unless she knows all the details of all the people she knows who have been remarried by the church - is that as one digs down in counseling with men and women who have been divorced, more information is found out about the why and wherefores of the relationship and the present future of the other partner. There may be more allowable circumstances and situations for a man/woman to remarry than she knows. We continue to ask God for wisdom on these matters.

Anonymous said...

Don and PK...I truly do love the blog, but I find that blog posts and email and such can be taken in ways that were not intended. It can be hard to discuss what you mean without sounding more harsh than you are being. Anyway, I apologize if it was taken the wrong way.

PK's BLOG said...

No worries, friend.