Thursday, September 22, 2011

ESTEEM

I was asked a question on the blog yesterday and thought I’d just address it here today. Pride and low self-esteem are two sides of the same coin. They are at either end of a continuum that ranges from ‘I don’t need God,’ to ‘God doesn’t need me.’" Neither is true.

Many think the person who is arrogant, bragging and prideful actually believes their boasts. But arrogance, bragging and pride are not caused by too much self-confidence but by a lack of it. In that sense, their low self-esteem reveals their pride. If they were truly confident in who they were they would not have to be arrogant or boastful; they wouldn't have to tear others down in order to build themselves up.

A person who is sure of themselves doesn't have to prove anything. They are the opposite of that; they are humble.

Think back to high school. It wasn't the kid with the great self-esteem who picked on people and thought they were better than everyone. It was the kid who was longing for acceptance and popularity that took special pride in his looks or social status or athletic ability or money or circle of friends. He was proud and arrogant because down deep he was completely insecure with low self-esteem. Low self-esteem is what tempts us to the sin of pride.

In the Bible there are no instances of God encouraging someone to have a better "self-esteem.” But there are many places where God tells people not to think more highly of themselves than they should. Unfortunately for modern psychology, the Bible does not seem to support the particular idea that mankind needs to think more of himself.

We were each created in the image of God. This means we have a certain dignity, given to us not because of who we are, but because God was our Creator. But in and of ourselves, we have no real value ... we are merely the dust of the ground. But because He loves us, we become valuable.

Two things must be kept in view for us to live the lives God has created us for. We must always be mindful of our dignity and our depravity, but to go too far in either direction takes us into a path of pride.

When we lean to the dignity side, we become arrogant, and it becomes obvious we are dealing with a sin of pride. But leaning towards the depravity side also is a matter of pride.

Those with low self-esteem hate themselves for many reasons, all of which are focused on themselves. Sometimes, in order to prove how much they hate themselves, they respond in verbally, mentally or physically self-abusive ways.

But God knows us and He has already provided the cure. Jesus came to earth and paid the price for our sins on the cross. Each soul - yours and mine - had a price sticker on it that declared it the most valuable thing in the universe because it was bought by the pain and suffering and blood of Christ.

When we deny with our low self-esteem that we have value, we are in essence being too proud to accept the value God has placed on us. Instead of merely being grateful that God took someone who had so many flaws and weaknesses and yet loved us enough to die for us, we tell Him that His love doesn't mean anything or that He is lying when He tells us He loves us.

To climb out of this trap, we must retrain ourselves to see the truth. God says He loves us. Is He a liar? No. That means when you feel you are worthless, then your feelings are contradicting what God has said and either your feelings are a liar or God is a liar. Which do you think is more reliable?

And be blessed.

3 comments:

Anonymous said...

PK, it is such a fine line between seeing yourself the way God sees you and feeling too prideful. I think that is not something I suffer from. I wish I could see myself as He does. Just to know deep down that I am loved just the way I am, but to have the confidence to be who He created me to be. As you wrote in an earlier blog...to soar like an eagle. I tend to look to others that I admire and to build them up with sincere compliments, but then I compare myself and come up short. I don't want accolades...I just want to be like others.

Anonymous said...

Can I ask you an honest question? Do you believe that most people have good self-esteem? I don't. I believe we all have so many areas where we doubt ourselves. Some more than others, but still, you know what I mean. I really wish I had a two-parent family, with 2 healthy individuals, but that's not the case. How in the world do you move past that? Sorry, I know you are not a shrink, but still...I wonder...

Mary Lopez said...

Interesting post! But the fact that pride and low self esteem are the same sides of a coin was an eye-opener. Thanks a ton