Wednesday, April 21, 2010

WOUNDS

I confess that I have church wounds. I have been exposed to insensitivities, hypocrisy, church politics, personal agendas, relationship breaches, pressure that nearly broke me, unfair comments, selfishness, pride. I have church wounds.

Pain does not remain in the pews.

When I read the book "Unchristian," I don't know what surprised me more -- that 87% of outsiders consider Christians to be judgmental - or that 52% of churchgoers feel the same way.
My experience with church wounds isn't an isolated incident.

The Gospel of Jesus is offensive to the natural mind. But sometimes people are not only offended by our beliefs, but by how we treat them. How many misrepresentations of Christ-following does it take to turn off an entire culture?

89% say they have church wounds.
79% say they have been significantly healed.
99% say they are willing to forgive anyone in the past who hurt them.
59% say they have considered not returning to church because of their experience.

Truth is, since most life wounding has a relational connection, it makes sense that some of the deepest interpersonal wounds occur within church -- a community designed to be centered on relationships.

They seem more devastating than other wounds because trust is broken - and believers claim to represent a God of love.

They seem more devastating than other wounds because the deepest part of who we are is involved - our spirits. This leaves people feeling unprotected and uncovered.

They seem more devastating than other wounds because there is almost an expectation of perfection within the church.

But someone willing to be healed will realize Jesus came to give us life, so we settle for nothing less than what God intended. We also realize some church wounds are the result of our own insecurities.

And in the end, I also confess - in my church interactions, I have been treated with love and grace and respect far more than I've received hurt.

I know God will heal my church wounds and help me become an agent of healing to a broken world around me.

And be blessed.

1 comment:

Tambrance said...

I have a friend who says that the church is the only army that kills its wounded. Church wounds can hurt worse than wounds by family members. It is scary to those of us who come from abusive families to hear the words "church family". It takes an enormous effort to trust that this spiritual family will accept and love you in healthy ways when your 'family' filter is distorted. When the 'church family' turns out to be dysfunctional, rejecting, judgemental, betraying or uncaring, the disappointment and pain drive us either to a closer relationship to Jesus and forgiveness for those who 'know not what they do' or into isolation, loneliness, alienation and bitterness. It is comforting to know that Jesus identifies with those of us who have been wounded. He was judged, betrayed, isolated, lonely and alienated without bitterness, and His example and grace make it possible for us to overcome.