GAP

In every relationship there is a gap between what we expect and how other people actually behave. It happens in every relationship. I EXPECTED you to do THIS, but you did THAT.

You said you’d be here at 4:00; it’s 5:00 and you’re STILL not here.

You said from now on you’d take care of those responsibilities, but they’re STILL undone.

You promised you’d call to take care of that, but you haven’t.

You said you’d never do that again, and now you’re doing it again.

And particularly in MARRIAGES - there’s a GAP between what we expect --- what you said when you were DATING - what you repeated at your WEDDING VOWS – all the PROMISES -- and what the reality is.

And here’s the choice you make all the time. In every one of these gaps we either choose to believe the best or assume the worst. We put one of those in the gap … every time. I don’t have to go any further for you to know which your partner does – but it’s way HARDER for you to see what you do.

Here's what it looks like to put BELIEVE THE BEST in the gap …

‘I know she’s LATE, but she’s had so much going on, I’m sure she’ll be here – there’s a very good reason for what is happening’ … believe the best.

OR … ‘She’s late again ... probably paying NO attention to the time – just like always. She’s probably on the phone with her sister.’ And it happens right there in the gap – assume the worst.

And we start to develop an attitude – all based on WHICH one we fill the gap with. People who make VOWS to each other … when you find those people and they’re still crazy in love – you won’t find people with no gaps – you ALWAYS find gaps. But what you’ll find is - those people have - a majority of the time, learned to fill the gaps with believe the best. Which means, they are generous. They come up with GENEROUS explanations as to WHY there’s a gap and that’s a beautiful thing to watch and hear.

So - next time there is a gap between expectations and behavior, fill the gap with BELIEVE THE BEST. What do you have to lose?

And be blessed.