I have some friends who had a baby yesterday - cute little girl - number 3, just like Joelene and me. As I reflect on our OWN three daughters, one about to have a child of her own -- and though they are all now grown -- consider this a freebie if you're still raising yours.
MANIFESTO FROM YOUR CHILD TO YOU:
1 Don't spoil me. I actually know I shouldn't get whatever I ask for; I'm just testing you.
2 Don't be afraid to be firm with me. It makes me feel more secure.
3 Don't make me feel smaller than I am. It only makes me behave 'stupidly big.'
4 Don't make me feel that my mistakes are sins.
5 Don't correct me in front of others if you can help it.
6 Don't make rash promises. I feel let down when promises are broken.
7 Don't forget I cannot explain myself as well as I would like. I'm not as articulate as you.
8 Don't tax my honesty too much. I am easily cornered into telling untruths.
9 Don't be inconsistent. That is confusing and causes me to lose trust in you.
10 Don't put me off when I ask too many questions. If you do, I am likely to stop asking and seek my information elsewhere.
11 Don't tell me my fears are silly or stupid. They are terribly real to me.
12 Don't forget how quickly I am growing up.
That list brings me to my knees every time.
And be blessed.
7 comments:
Where did you get this list? Did you create it? It's really good, dad.
I am sure that every parent, when reflecting on the job they did with their own kids (not that the job is EVER done), is mostly reminded of the things they did wrong or could have done better. The one thing I hope you NEVER forget is, while - yeah - you weren't perfect, you raised us to be strong women of God who look back on their childhood with happiness and gratefulness that we had a father who loved us enough to speak up when we were doing something stupid, encourage us when we were doing something right, and love us unconditionally regardless. Looking back, I wouldn't change a thing, dad; know that you did the best job you could, and that was best for us.
I love you forever, and you'll always be my hero.
Love,
One Very Proud Daughter
THANK YOU - FROM ONE VERY PROUD FATHER.
What can a proud MOM say when she reads something like you just wrote? To say the least there were many times I failed you, but with the help of the Lord, and the many prayers that went up for you, you chose the right way, and God has blessed you abundantly. Needless to say, you have one proud MOM and Grandmother.
We love you very much. Your family of girls (4) mean so much to us.
DEAR "ANONYMOUS":
You didn't fail me that much. :)
Geez, your list made me cry and then I read your comments...now I'm balling...must be the pregnancy hormones! Great list, great reminder for this stay at home Mom of soon to be 4. Let them be little, right?!
I know you wrote this a week ago, but as a parent I'm sure you can understand that sometimes one has to take the "blog reading" time when they can get it. For me that's usually Friday mornings! So I've been catching up on yours and this one not only brought a smile, but also brought my parenting focus back to what's really important.
Our daughter, Rachel, will soon be 12. And I'm sure nothing I'm going to say is of any surprise to you as you had THREE of them. (God must really love you. Either that or He has a great sense of humor.) But we are in the middle of "I'm not a little kid anymore and I want to do things my own way!" ("But don't forget to wash my gym clothes and put those little oranges in my lunch, and are you coming up to tuck me in tonight?") Just last night Steve, Rachel and I were having a "discussion" about a current concern. Now, all 3 of us are quite afflicted with that Irish temper people hear about, so you can imagine how the "discussion" was going. It ended somewhat amiably, but Steve and I sat there looking at each other like "What are we going to DO with that child?" She is not a bad kid by any means. And I know what she's going through is totally normal for her age. And I also know that taking into consideration her gender, her ethnic background AND the fact that the real teenage years are right around the corner that we are in for a wild ride. But then I read you blog and I thought, ah yes. Most of the things we things we "discuss" over the next few years really won't matter once she's grown. But how we handle some of those things you listed will make all the difference.
Thanks for making it simple again.
AUDRA:
Some days I thought God DIDN'T love me because He gave me three daughters. LOL. We had our 'days,' believe me. But overall the picture was rosy and bright - and that's how you have to look at it. Not even day by day - but as long as the overall tone is somewhere near the right note over time, your children can handle a lot from you -- and as far as their 'periods' of trauma, growth, distress and maturation, all I have to say is: THIS TOO SHALL PASS. :)
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