FATHERS

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What with my middle daughter's 22nd birthday yesterday combined with our MEN'S CHAMPIONS small group meeting last night discussing the book, "Seven Secrets of Effective Fathers" ... well ... this blog was inevitable.

Looking back, now that two daughters are fully grown and out of the house - and the last one is approaching 18 years old -- I see all the mistakes I made as a dad. They are rather glaring to me now, though my daughters don't seem to notice, or if they do, they don't say they do. That is grace.

Inattention ...
Lack of time with them ...
Not listening the way I should have ...
Getting upset with small things far too many times ...
Not treating them as individuals ...
Inconsistency in my moods and behavior and words ...

Some days I made them mad by grilling the newest boyfriend. Other days I upset them when they would come down the stairs ready for church wearing some crazy get-up --- "Umm ... No ... I don't think so," I would say. On other occasions, I would frustrate them by saying something and then, last minute, unfairly changing my mind.

Those didn't happen EVERY day. There were plenty of days where I was the "World's Coolest Dad," but not enough days. And I'm probably like all of you dads out there -- I'd like to go back and replay the times I failed those girls and get it RIGHT this time.

I'd LIKE to tell them:

How much joy they have brought me ...

How proud I've been when I walked into a restaurant with all three of them and their mother, and look around the restaurant with my head held high and my non-verbal communication screaming to the room: "Yeah - all you losers - all four of these women belong to ME. That's right. Eat your hearts out" ...

I'd LIKE to tell them that. I'd LIKE to tell them:

How funny and charming it was when we were at the restaurant, just the two of us, and the waitress thought you were my DATE, even though you are 31 years younger than me! Either YOU looked VERY VERY mature or I looked AWESOME! And she actually offered you wine, even though you were only 13! I'll never forget that. Thank you, Olivia. (Disclaimer: We didn't order the wine.)

What horror to come home and find that you had gone out and gotten a motorcycle license all by yourself - and then come home and waved that thing in my face. But then, what fun it was to ride those Harleys together that one summer, my 'biker babe' daughter and me. Pulling up to various homes on our two motorcycles side-by-side was unforgettable and I'll treasure that always. You made me feel like I was 18 again. Thank you, Allison.

The dread and pride I felt walking you down the aisle that hot July day. The entire crowd was sweating from the heat. I was sweating for completely different reasons. You were (and are) stunningly beautiful. It was a moment etched eternally in my brain - and walking you down that incline and letting go of you at the arbor to pass you off to your husband-to-be was one of the hardest things I've ever had to do, even though I was blissfully happy for you both. Thank you, Whitney.

And ... I'll never forget (nor will I let any of YOU forget) all three of you totalling the family vehicles - one at a time - when you were each 16 and 17. Priceless. Literally.

I'd LIKE to tell you all that.

Even with my personal failures - so many - I'm grateful that all three of our daughters have turned out far better than I can lay claim to having raised them. Again, that is grace.

In my Bible is a prized bookmark. It is not for sale at any cost, though it is a piece of construction paper, homemade, now turned up at the edges -- not for sale. It is one of several I have, but this one stands out. And at the risk of self-aggrandizement - which I'll try to keep to a bare minimum in this blog - here it is:

"My daddy: I love you so much, even when you don't think I do ... Today I thought, 'Wow! I am so grateful for my dad and how he loves me.' It really hit me that I should spend as much time with you as I can because before you know it, I'll be gone and out of the house. Dad, I'm so grateful for you. You are the best dad any one could ever ask for. I love you, Dad."

PS - I sure didn't do it alone. Thanks, Joelene.

Now ... with THAT ... what does ANYONE need money or big homes or possessions for. I am a rich man. And that is grace.

What's YOUR story?

Be blessed.